It’s practicum time in the relationship lab that Saturn has been hosting since the fall of 2011. The task is not a practice exercise (or three), but putting everything we’ve been developing to practical use. That means realizations, decisions, negotiations, renegotiations, revised ground rules and new models of connection and reciprocity.
You know what happens when you start putting reconditioned or unfamiliar tools and concepts to use. They don’t always fly right off the bat. Sometimes you have to learn how to work them (or work with them). Sometimes you uncover other parts of the job that need attention. Sometimes you discover that you need to learn something or hone a skill to make the best use of them. And then a corny joke comes to mind: “Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall?” “Practice, practice, practice.”
That’s where we are. Major healing, cleaning up, finishing and implementing dominate the week. When your mind wanders off into what-ifs about later in the year, bring it back to the practicum.
The working metaphor for the week (as well as the next six) is a school calendar. It’s near the end of a semester and you are in the final weeks of all your courses, with finals still a bit ahead. You know what courses you’re going to be taking next semester, but are you worrying about them and wondering whether that intriguing person you’ve been flirting with in the dining hall is going to be in any of them, or going into a panic over what grade you might get? No. You are paying attention to this semester. You have to get through this one before the next one is a live issue.
Remind yourself of that. Maybe even write it down. And, yes, I know this does not come automatically or naturally for us monkey-mind folks. But flying off into the next stage is a distraction from the real and necessary work of finishing this stage.
And really good results are likely if we buckle down and work now. Even though it’s summer. Four big influences are helping with it. Three of them involve Chiron, who challenges us to embrace the gift in an abiding wound and settle fully into the physicality of existence. He’s opening pathways to healing that could make us more comfortable with ourselves and with all the folks we have to live with on this planet.
Chiron is in an opportunity aspect to Pluto, lord of our deepest darkest secrets and impulses and one of the instigators of the rampant and relentless disruption and change that we have been experiencing. Even if for only a moment, we can glimpse the illusion of separateness as just that: an illusion, one that both grows out of and feeds irrational fears and baseline terrors. Everyone — without exception — has been confronting, encountering and undergoing unprecedented instability inside and out, often with damage to metaphoric structures that previously provided a secure foundation. Even if for only a moment, we can experience a softening of the experience of instability. Maybe understand how it benefits us. Maybe experience a sensation of triumphing in it. Maybe transmute long-standing wounds because of it. Maybe experience genuine compassion for what everyone else is going through — even the people who are driving us nuts.
Chiron is also dancing with Venus, ruler of our heart. The flow between them opens and unleashes emotions, throws arguing people into each other’s arms, places balm (initially I typed “calm;” that works, too) and comfort on aching, lonely hearts and pours sustenance into the emotionally malnourished.
Chiron is the bridge in this week’s big standoff, between the two planets of desire and money, Venus (worldly) and Pluto (big, dirty, primal). You see something you want and you can’t have, or shouldn’t have, or crave so badly that it would throw your life into utter, utter disarray. It’s the apple just out of reach, the beloved food that triggers allergies, the obsession that’s just not good and healthy for you, someone else’s spouse.
Whatever form this takes for you, view it through the eyes of love — the eyes of love for yourself. Relate it to your core wound, the one that resurfaces again and again no matter how much therapy or inner work or growing up you do. There is a connection. Let yourself off the hook. Let yourself be human. Forgive yourself.
And then get to work. We’ve got all the incentive in the world (heck, the universe) to buckle down with Mars, the ruler of our drive and actions, meeting with Saturn in Libra, the sign of our social contracts. Our experiences since April have brought us to a more conscious understanding of what our hearts want and need. Now we have the motivation and the follow-through to tackle relationships and agreements of all kinds.
The stakes are high; the ramifications are long-lasting. I’ve been saying since June that this summer is not for flings and trifles; it’s a summer of serious love. Now we see just how much so. Now begins the serious dismantling or collapsing of relationships that can’t support us, while the ones that are going with us begin maturing into solidity and commitment.
The first part doesn’t have to be nasty. We can do this with love. Chiron’s healing contacts with Pluto and Venus infuse everything we undertake now. Ease up on yourself. Forgive yourself. Put healthy focus on yourself, your emotional needs, your own nurturing. And stop worrying about what’s going to happen; the fall will be here soon enough.
It’ll be amazing, actually, how outer situations fall into place as a result.
Oh, and there’s a New Moon in Leo on Friday. Inner children get validation and big-girl/big-boy privileges. More in my mooncast.
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